One of the first things people mention about driving here in Belgium is to note that this sign means yield/priority to the right. It’s a pretty frustrating sign because if you’re not on a main road, there is one of these awesome signs every 10 feet. The best part about it, though, is that you don’t know if someone is coming until you’re halfway through the intersection since the buildings are ON the road.  Even better, is that drivers coming from that direction pay little attention and often come barreling out.

This sign is the perfect metaphor for military life. You think everything is on track, then out of nowhere comes a “yield to the right” barreling at you.

After years of struggling through the usual deployments, time-sucking orders, a million TDYs (temporary duty), work-ups, more deployments, we are finally rewarded with the most coveted of military orders – Europe! Hallelujah!

We’ve been rewarded for all the struggles with the chance to see AH-MAZING history – 1000 year old churches, citadels, hospitals, incredible views, beautiful scenery – and to try completely new palates of food – beers! Cheeses! Wines! Chocolates! Waffles! Every weekend we have the opportunity to see and taste more culture.

If only it were that easy of a transition…

As it turns out, this transition has been more of a “yield to the right” for me. I’m here. I’m in it – halfway through the instersection of awesome! – but totally blindsided by complete 180 my life has taken.

“But this is what you’ve always wanted!” True story (sort of). I’ve always wanted to be home with my kids, to not miss the milestones, the school functions, the awards ceremonies, the play dates, the chance to be more social.  We, as a family, have also always wanted the chance, really the opportunity of a lifetime, to live in Europe. So what is my problem???

My two “wants” have collided and here I am – struggling. I’ve gone from the somewhat fiercely independent working mom, who made life happen through deployments and many, many, many TDYs (and even a birth!) alone (well, I had plenty of family and friend help – thanks guys!), and from the “professional” pharmacist who thrived on making changes and trying to make everywhere I worked better, and from my role as the “ordering out/getting fast food/having food delivered” mom, to “just” a mom. “Just” a mom who 1. lives in a foreign country 2. doesn’t speak the language (deer in headlights when someone talks AT me), 3. Has to grocery shop 3 times a week with any various number of uncooperative children (because the stores have limited hours that don’t work with Justin’s schedule) 4. has started to HAVE to cook EVERY meal because there is no ordering out, there are no fast food restaurants (McDonalds 30 min away but can’t go through drive thru because I don’t speak french!), and there is no home delivery. Also, any who knows me knows I hate to cook. I hate the mess, I hate the stress, I hate the clean up. Thankfully though, I don’t think I totally suck (kids don’t complain much – winning!) Also, I still live for Amazon and will order whatever I can through them, but it takes a little bit longer, and I have to drive to the post office to pick packages up and am required to bring the children in, and the hours are 1230-530 (thumbs down).

And to top all of that off, my dogs. I LEFT MY DOGS! I love them. They are dirty, stinky, annoying, but I love them. I miss them. They’ve seen me through all of the births (Ike was sitting with me for my first pregnancy test!), all of the deployments, all of the TDYs, two cross country moves, and 5 houses. They’re just the icing on the cake of what I didn’t expect to be so hard. I also hope Katie doesn’t hate me forever.

So here I am – first world problems. My goals for our time here are to put on my big girl panties and truly LIVE this awesome opportunity! and to enjoy the opportunity to stay home with my kids, see every single moment (because hey, I haven’t been alone in 4 months) and to LOVE all new changes. 3 months down, 33 to go!

(Maybe I’m just having Starbucks withdrawals?)